“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.”
Proverbs 18:19 KJV
People show you their character all the time, the question is are we paying attention. The Word says: “My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.”
Proverbs 5:1-2 KJV
In other words don’t try to do it yourself, even if you have been doing IT for a long time, just know God has a better way. The Word says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 .
Sometimes people can be doing their best and it still rub everyone the wrong way, but I don’t expect a mechanic to be great at laying asphalt. Just stick to what you are good at, that’s not to say don’t try something new. I had to help remodel an office which took about 18 months and the more we did ourselves saved us that much more money. The more you learn the better things will be, even if it’s knowing enough about it to know that you don’t want to have anything to do with it. It’s just always good to know, but when you are great at something consider taking the time to pour the knowledge into someone else. It may take a while but at least you have passed the knowledge along. Doing it this way they’re able to have their own vision from God with it and maybe do some things that will end up being a blessing to you.
The way we teach goes a long way, there are a few trades that I have learned here in the past few years and I can truly say I had a great teacher. Now all teachers are not spirit filled and for the ones that are not the word gives us clear instruction on how to conduct ourselves. “Let as many servants as are under the yoke count their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed. And they that have believing masters, let them not despise them, because they are brethren; but rather do them service, because they are faithful and beloved, partakers of the benefit. These things teach and exhort.”
1 Timothy 6:1-2
God’s fruit of His Spirit is LOVE so we should always lead with such. Trust me it can be hard sometimes, but God will get the glory and they will notice your patience and long suffering as well as give it back. When God is glorified those labors of love are not in vain. I thank God for the believing teachers that I have had because they actually checked to see if I would be at prayer and church. Those were definitely things my other employer definitely didn’t do.
When you are offended it’s like you are not all there, like you are turned off in a sense. That person or spouse begins to remember every little thing you may have done in the past and now holds all those things against you. The Bible says that it’s actually easier to win a city than this person, so aim to tame your tongue. Don’t just speak in haste out of frustration. Train yourself to purposely be silent when you are frustrated (easier said than done), but the more you recognize this the better you will become. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”
Proverbs 18:21 KJV
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV
As blood bought believers we strive for perfection. Strive means to devote serious effort or energy. With all our hearts, minds, strength and soul we must understand we are not above correcting and we desperately need to be constantly moving more and more out of our lives so that we have more and more room for God! There is nothing glamourous about a cross or carrying one. THIS is what we are supposed to be doing as Christ followers, but more and more we hear about what God owes us; getting our increase is such a slap in the face and is not biblical. The Word says that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God. When we think of Job there was way more chapters on his pain and sufferings than the blessing, and understand I'm not harping on embracing your struggles or poverty. By all means strive to be the best at what God has gifted you in, but always be Spirit led. Pray first and last, first before if God gives you vision on a thing and begins to speak concerning that thing continue to pray all the way through so its so much of His will being done that you can't take any credit for anything. What does the Word say?
“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? he shall stand before kings; he shall not stand before mean men.”
Proverbs 22:29 KJV
Have you ever felt as if you were spinning your wheels on the wrong car. Or a lot of what you were doing that at one time you loved and just hate. What people give off can be mentally and physically draining if they are not concentrating on their actions and what comes out of their mouth. And I have definitely dropped the ball there a couple of times, but for some of you who may have deal with this all the time don't worry there is hope.
Some people feel as if what you have been blessed with is there’s, but God has a way of letting you know He gave it to you for you. Some people do have bad jealousy issues and over time it may have sabotaged previous relationships in their past, but jealousy can be conquered with worship as a lifestyle. The Word says that the joy of the Lord is our strength, and in the presence of the Lord there is fulness of joy. So I would be more inclined to accept an invitation to your church if you are displaying a life filled with more and more joy.
Remember God didn’t give the cake to Elijah and company for the journey, he gave it to Elijah. The laborer is due his wages, so if you are spinning your wheels somewhere, but in a horrible environment find something else. Remember God’s Word says “A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.”
Proverbs 18:16 (KJV) The gift makes room for YOU, sometimes, but, not always others. We do know one thing for sure is that it WILL make room for YOU!! So if God has given you a dream or vision be encouraged. God’s timeline is totally different than ours just ask Abraham. In the mean time you can Bible study with a loved one or friend, fast and pray, or study while you’re waiting on it to come to fruition. And always, always labor to improve the gift or skill God has given you. To the man who sat on his talent the Lord was disgusted with him.
You know a tree by its fruit. Now let’s take time to think about what our fruit is. The Word says “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.”
Proverbs 20:11 KJV So if you are the guy or girl that’s always taking advantage of others, that’s what you will be known by. But when we repent and are baptized in Jesus name, Acts 2:38 says that God will give us the gift of the Holy Ghost. Whenever I think of a gift I always think of something nice since God’s ways are not our ways, then His gift of the Holy Ghost is a whole lot nicer. Just to think of how He created this whole world before He created us says a lot about His gifts.
Our emotions are a real thing and while the Lord has given us our emotions to help express ourselves. Sometimes the wrong responses say I’m still a babe in Christ while prayerfully leading others to see or discern that their emotions have the best of them should be what we all strive for. We have to be careful in the way we respond to people or as my friend Sis. Lively likes to say “to make sure that we are not reacting to what people are saying.” Are we listening to respond or really listening to hear their hearts. A lot can be understood about a person even if they are complaining when you listen to their tone and watch their body language.
Speaking of fruit there are some evil spirits out there that we should be on guard for. Lust, envy, pride, gluttony and greed just to name a few all have one thing in common and that’s when they’re met with the TRUTH there big brother WRATH likes to show up. And wrath always has anger as a fruit. When you have the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit has you the fruit of God’s spirit shows up in ways to help you win your neighbor and encourage your brother. The Fruit of the Spirit, which is in Galatians 5:22 is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance which is self control. And patience, which truly is a virtue and comes from long suffering. When this is done the right way it helps you see what you should pray for with someone that you are around often, like a spouse or co-worker. Patience is something I’m still working on, but for the ones who don’t possess it at all end up running their own family members to worlds of sickness and sometimes worse. It can be tough, but the Bible says to enter God’s courts with praise and his gates with thanksgiving, so instead of approaching God with my complaining spirit that I’ve been dumping all over everyone that gets close to me, I should thank God for everything that I DO have.
Here's an example: an overweight person tries to control someone else’s life which is totally understandable actually. They cannot get the one thing that’s causing them so much stress in their lives under control and by default they try to control everything and everyone else around them instead of using that same energy and focusing it on themselves, which would simply solve their problem. Some people are control freaks and they throw temper tantrum‘s when they can’t control you, but remember its the truth that helps our friends and if they are truly friends they will repent in their hearts like David did when Nathan brought the truth to his front door, and if not they will be ready take up stones like they did Steven when he simply just told them the TRUTH.
Do you have tissue under your shoe or maybe something in your nose, relax God has your back and will send the right someone along to tell you the truth. The truth is always here to help, but you can’t really get help until you accept the truth. Remember if you are the friend that's always correcting everyone else and none of them can correct you, you are probably not their friend. That's one of the first lessons newly weds have to learn in order to have a successful marriage. We pray this has been not only informative, but helpful. We have the Word of God that is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword and it is here to help us all.
DEUTERONOMY 28:2 AND ALL THESE BLESSINGS SHALL COME ON THEE, AND OVERTAKE THEE, IF THOU SHALT HEARKEN UNTO THE VOICE OF THE LORD THY GOD;
Psalm Chapter 51 ~ Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy Holy Spirit from me. v.10-11 ~ Have mercy on me, O God! Wash me clean! I have sinned against thee! How all too well I remember these cries to God for forgiveness of my own iniquities against Him. This was David's cry for forgiveness when he committed adultery with a married woman, Bathsheba. I can relate to this same brokeness David must have felt. My sins were not the exact sins of David, but sin is sin. My sin was against God; because when we sin, it is not against our husband's, wives, children, or friends. It is against God! He is the one who will judge us in the end! We are guilty of nailing Jesus to the Cross over and over as we commit sin against Him! Adultery, Fornication, Homosexuality, Stealing, Lying, Murder, Pornography, etc....We all have read the list! We have all committed one or more of the list of sins God wrote out in black and white! We have all needed deliverance of our transgressions at some point in our lives. The point I'm trying to make is that God is not pleased with lifestyles of sin. He cannot use us to further His Kingdom with sin in our lives. In fact, when you belong to Him and have surrendered your life over to Him, the mere thought of sin causes a stench to your nostrils. It just makes you want to vomit at the thought of nailing Jesus to the Cross ever again! ~ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. v.17 ~ Please if you belong to God, and you know you are living a life that He despises, then humble yourselves before God and ask forgiveness. Turn from the thing that keeps you at a distance from His Holy Spirit. I begged God not to let His Holy Spirit ever leave me when I was living in sin, just like in David's prayer. I felt like if I didn't make things right with God, that eventually He would get fed up with me. It takes a great deal for God to get fed up, but He will at some point. The risk is far too great to allow that to happen. I prayed for God's forgiveness. I prayed for Him to restore my joy at salvation. I prayed that if He would show me mercy, grace, and forgiveness that I would sing for Him and rededicate my life to please Him. I came to God broken and He forgave me. I had nothing to give Him but myself, and He received me back into His arms. He never left me and He never forsake me. God wants to restore you! Let Him! ♡♡♡
Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No man comes to the Father, but by me. (John 14:6)
So if Jesus is the way that means He alone is the way; not Hollywood, not reality shows, nothing outside of His Word for God is His Word. And the Word became flesh and we beheld his glory.....John (1:14). So only what His Word says about marriage is the Truth and final. Ooh that's a word that carries a lot of weight, but that's what we do when we reverence God.
How be it when he the Spirit of Truth is come, he will guide you into all Truth. For He shall not speak of Himself, but what so ever He shall hear that shall He speak and He will show you things to come.(John 16:13) Funny how we keep seeing the word Truth; people you have to tell the truth to your spouse if you want things to get better. "If I don't tell them right now"".....isn't that a statement that sounds like it can only go down hill from there. Yea so tell the truth all the time, when both of you agree to do this it creates a mindset to NOT do things that will make you have to lie your way out of them.
God ordained marriage in the beginning: For this reason man shall leave his Mother and Father and cleave unto his own wife. (Gen 2:24)
You have to close all doors. If you are not married to them don't talk to them; the devil loves when you invite him in. Ladies sharing heartfelt things with the opposite sex is the #1 way the devil is invited in. Sharing them with ladies only starts gossip and is the #2 way you let the devil in. Men you were called to be priest over your household so go to God about it. Lead the wife and children by your actions not your complaining; as a wife sees her husband go to God when things are tight or just not what you had at all expected, it is the man's actions that show the wife what to do as well as the children and yes they are paying attention. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. Pray before you start your day together, husband and wife as well as before you go to sleep. Choose to do these little things as part of your daily routines like brushing your teeth, yes you are supposed to do that daily. After a while of doing this and being consistent you will definitely be able to tell the difference when you forget to pray before starting your day; I know that I can tell when I forget so I propose stopping everything you're doing and praying right then and there no matter where you are or what you're doing.
Again you have to be open and honest with each other. Operate in the truth. God ordained marriage in the beginning, He ordained it, He created it so without Him in it, it will not work. Get the secrets out, come clean and tell the TRUTH. Learn early to keep the outside doors closed. Just because you're mad or angry it doesn't give you liberty to open a door. Give it to God, pray together always about everything and DO NOT LET the sun go down on your wrath. Eph 4:26
So remember the Truth may not be the popular thing going on around you, but it is the TRUTH, which is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
"Hear, O Israel:The Lord our God is one Lord"
Be Blessed Family,
From Dquandra and Jordan Hulitt